You know, us therapists, generally speaking, are absolutely rubbish at getting treatments for ourselves. Always focused on healing others, we often overlook our own needs. Haven't got time. Can't afford it. I'm fine really. We are masters of the excuse.
Fortunately, after a rapid bit of networking in my local area, I managed to wrangle a massage and Reiki session with the lovely Lisa Cherry - www.holistic-health.me.uk. Marvellous. All I had to do was reciprocate with a session of acupuncture.
Lisa's life experiences have made her a truly remarkable therapist, and she is incredibly intuitive. She completely understood my own emotional problems and repetitive thought patterns! She started with a wonderfully tension busting back, neck and shoulder massage and then went into the Reiki.
I've been attuned to Reiki 1 and as soon as Lisa started the Reiki I felt my hands start with the familiar warmth and buzzing sensation. It was very, very relaxing. I certainly felt a few blockages clear (no pun intended) and spent the rest of the day floating around in a not-so familiar bubble, with me repeating the question in my head: Why don't I do this more often?
So, my recommendation to you therapists out there, is to find another therapist, make a new friend and offer to swap some treatments.
You'll love it.
Saturday, 17 December 2011
Sunday, 27 November 2011
Nobody's perfect
Nobody's perfect. I'm CERTAINLY not perfect.
Sometimes it's all to easy to tell people what to do, dishing out the advice like candy, but taking none of your own. The doctor telling the patient they must give up smoking before going out for a cigarette on their lunchbreak. The fitness instructor having one to many drinks on a night out and failing to get up for their morning exercise routine. The drugs counsellor lighting up a joint after a hard day at work. Do as I say, not as I do. That's what they say, isn't it?
I know this happens, because I've seen it happen, and if truth be told, it's happened to me too. I've been known to have one too many drinks on a night out, I've had the occasional recreational smoke, I failed (many a time) to get up for my morning exercise routine, I've eaten a whole 10oz steak, with peppercorn sauce AND chips, followed by an unhealthy portion of chocolate cake WITH cream. And I've loved every mintue of it. GUILTY PLEASURES.
And do you know what? It IS ok... (and here it comes) IN MODERATION.
The law of the universe, according to the principles of Yin and Yang, relies on BALANCE. And we hear this all the time. Make sure you eat a balanced diet. Maintain a healthy work/home life balance. Don't tip the balance. Balance, balance, balance.
Yet many of us feel unbalanced. We try desperately to hang onto our perfectly balanced life, whilst everything falls down around us. And sometimes it's because we TRY TOO HARD. Go easy on yourself!!
There's one emotion that I've already mentioned that tends to prevent us from taking our well-deserved break. GUILT. Our guilty pleasures. And many of these feelings of guilt are imposed on us by modern day society. We're fed an idealistic view of what appears to be an almost Aryan utopia of what we should be striving for. HER: Skinny. Blonde hair. Blue eyes. HIM: Muscles. Six pack. Chiselled jaw line. 2.4 children. Private school. Perfect home รก la Kirstie Allsopp. Domestic bliss...
We feel guilty for not going to the gym. We feel guilty for eating that piece of chocolate cake. We feel guilty for having one too many glasses of wine. We feel guilty for dumping our problems on other people. We feel guilty for having an untidy home. Guilt, guilt, guilt. It's always there lurking in the background ready to pounce at the slightest slip up. Like a disappointed parent shaking it's finger at us. You shouldn't have done that now, should you?
Guilt, in Chinese Medicine, stagnates. It affects the energy of our Liver and our Heart. And it's very damaging. It blocks the natural flow of energy through the body and depletes it over time. It can make us feel frustrated, miserable and vulnerable. It can cause tension in our neck and shoulders, it can cause headaches, it can cause heart palpitations and it can affect our menstrual cycle (though not mine, I might add).
I recently had a mini-breakdown, a flid (that's what I call it. Why? I don't know), because everything just got too much. I was trying to set up a new business, I was trying to network with as many people as possible, maintaining my perfect "sunshine face!" (that I sometimes find so desperately annoying), I was trying to fit in my exercise regime, my healthy eating plan, my administration, my socialising, my supporting my friends, my family, my maintaing a healthy bank balance (that was slipping away fast), and BOOM. It hit me like a truck with no breaks skidding down Fish Hill in the Cotswolds, i.e. fast, uncontrollably and painfully. All because I felt enough guilt that I needed to maintain this perfect healthcare professional exterior when in actual fact, I needed to stop. My energy was zapped, I suffered migraines, I felt like I had the flu (when I knew I didn't), and I was utterly miserable.
In trying to maintain my perfectly balanced life, I had become way out of balance.
So, what did I do? I stopped. I stopped everything. I took myself off to bed and I stayed there for a whole 48 hours. When I was hungry I bought myself fish and chips. I watched films. I ate chocolate. I slept A LOT. And slowly, I started to feel better again. Goes against all the principles doesn't it? Now the nutritionalists amongst us may argue (indeed correctly) that what I needed was super-nutrition, but I counter that with what I needed to do was feed my Liver. Feed your Liver? Yes, feed my Liver.
The Liver, when it's out of balance, CRAVES. And sometimes, by ignoring those cravings completely you get can more out of balance. So, I allowed myself time to rest and I fed those cravings. Now, I have to be careful here, because cravings can become habitual, and of course when they do, we've gone out of balance too far the other way, in which case professional help should be sought. But in the majority of cases, feeding your cravings once in a while is absolutely fine.
My advise that I want to give you is ALLOW YOURSELF A BREAK from time to time. Whatever it takes. Have a day off from work and spend it in bed. Pack the kids off to the grandparents and lounge around the house. Eat cake. Drink coffee. Get drunk. Whatever it may be, just do it. IN MODERATION.
Now I'm back to my healthy lifestyle, going to the gym, eating well, feeling postive, and all because I needed that break to refuel. Sounds daft doesn't it? Well, perhaps it is, but I certainly don't feel guilty about it. And I'm well aware of the luxury of allowing myself time off. Many of us have family's to look after, work full time, social events, etc, etc, but allowing yourself a break from life every now and again is absolutely fine!
It's like I said... nobody's perfect.
Sometimes it's all to easy to tell people what to do, dishing out the advice like candy, but taking none of your own. The doctor telling the patient they must give up smoking before going out for a cigarette on their lunchbreak. The fitness instructor having one to many drinks on a night out and failing to get up for their morning exercise routine. The drugs counsellor lighting up a joint after a hard day at work. Do as I say, not as I do. That's what they say, isn't it?
I know this happens, because I've seen it happen, and if truth be told, it's happened to me too. I've been known to have one too many drinks on a night out, I've had the occasional recreational smoke, I failed (many a time) to get up for my morning exercise routine, I've eaten a whole 10oz steak, with peppercorn sauce AND chips, followed by an unhealthy portion of chocolate cake WITH cream. And I've loved every mintue of it. GUILTY PLEASURES.
And do you know what? It IS ok... (and here it comes) IN MODERATION.
The law of the universe, according to the principles of Yin and Yang, relies on BALANCE. And we hear this all the time. Make sure you eat a balanced diet. Maintain a healthy work/home life balance. Don't tip the balance. Balance, balance, balance.
Yet many of us feel unbalanced. We try desperately to hang onto our perfectly balanced life, whilst everything falls down around us. And sometimes it's because we TRY TOO HARD. Go easy on yourself!!
There's one emotion that I've already mentioned that tends to prevent us from taking our well-deserved break. GUILT. Our guilty pleasures. And many of these feelings of guilt are imposed on us by modern day society. We're fed an idealistic view of what appears to be an almost Aryan utopia of what we should be striving for. HER: Skinny. Blonde hair. Blue eyes. HIM: Muscles. Six pack. Chiselled jaw line. 2.4 children. Private school. Perfect home รก la Kirstie Allsopp. Domestic bliss...
We feel guilty for not going to the gym. We feel guilty for eating that piece of chocolate cake. We feel guilty for having one too many glasses of wine. We feel guilty for dumping our problems on other people. We feel guilty for having an untidy home. Guilt, guilt, guilt. It's always there lurking in the background ready to pounce at the slightest slip up. Like a disappointed parent shaking it's finger at us. You shouldn't have done that now, should you?
Guilt, in Chinese Medicine, stagnates. It affects the energy of our Liver and our Heart. And it's very damaging. It blocks the natural flow of energy through the body and depletes it over time. It can make us feel frustrated, miserable and vulnerable. It can cause tension in our neck and shoulders, it can cause headaches, it can cause heart palpitations and it can affect our menstrual cycle (though not mine, I might add).
I recently had a mini-breakdown, a flid (that's what I call it. Why? I don't know), because everything just got too much. I was trying to set up a new business, I was trying to network with as many people as possible, maintaining my perfect "sunshine face!" (that I sometimes find so desperately annoying), I was trying to fit in my exercise regime, my healthy eating plan, my administration, my socialising, my supporting my friends, my family, my maintaing a healthy bank balance (that was slipping away fast), and BOOM. It hit me like a truck with no breaks skidding down Fish Hill in the Cotswolds, i.e. fast, uncontrollably and painfully. All because I felt enough guilt that I needed to maintain this perfect healthcare professional exterior when in actual fact, I needed to stop. My energy was zapped, I suffered migraines, I felt like I had the flu (when I knew I didn't), and I was utterly miserable.
In trying to maintain my perfectly balanced life, I had become way out of balance.
So, what did I do? I stopped. I stopped everything. I took myself off to bed and I stayed there for a whole 48 hours. When I was hungry I bought myself fish and chips. I watched films. I ate chocolate. I slept A LOT. And slowly, I started to feel better again. Goes against all the principles doesn't it? Now the nutritionalists amongst us may argue (indeed correctly) that what I needed was super-nutrition, but I counter that with what I needed to do was feed my Liver. Feed your Liver? Yes, feed my Liver.
The Liver, when it's out of balance, CRAVES. And sometimes, by ignoring those cravings completely you get can more out of balance. So, I allowed myself time to rest and I fed those cravings. Now, I have to be careful here, because cravings can become habitual, and of course when they do, we've gone out of balance too far the other way, in which case professional help should be sought. But in the majority of cases, feeding your cravings once in a while is absolutely fine.
My advise that I want to give you is ALLOW YOURSELF A BREAK from time to time. Whatever it takes. Have a day off from work and spend it in bed. Pack the kids off to the grandparents and lounge around the house. Eat cake. Drink coffee. Get drunk. Whatever it may be, just do it. IN MODERATION.
Now I'm back to my healthy lifestyle, going to the gym, eating well, feeling postive, and all because I needed that break to refuel. Sounds daft doesn't it? Well, perhaps it is, but I certainly don't feel guilty about it. And I'm well aware of the luxury of allowing myself time off. Many of us have family's to look after, work full time, social events, etc, etc, but allowing yourself a break from life every now and again is absolutely fine!
It's like I said... nobody's perfect.
Sunday, 20 November 2011
Practising the subtle art of self-awareness...
What is self-awareness? How do you develop self-awareness? How can self-awareness help on a personal level? How can practicing self-awareness help you move forward in your life?
Self-awareness is the ability to view yourself as others would see you, taking note of the repetitive thoughts, patterns, actions and phrases that you use. For some, it's natural. They are more than aware of their own thoughts and actions! But for others, it doesn't come so easy...
Tips to help you develop self-awareness:
1) Mental check! Every time you elicit an emotional response to a stressful situation, make a mental note of that emotion and the factors that may have caused it.
2) Reflect (when calm!). People will respond in different ways to the same situation. For example, if your boss tells you that your standards have slipped at work, you might feel frustrated and get angry, whilst another might feel sad and dejected, and another might feel worried about losing their job. Take time to reflect on the situation and your emotional response, but do this WHEN YOU FEEL CALM AND COLLECTED! Mentally pouring over the situation whilst you're still locked in that emotion will only make it worse. Take yourself out, go and do something to distract yourself and come back to it another time.
3) The other person's point of view. It's all too easy to think we reacted in the best possible way and "of course I was calm!" when in actual fact we may have responded in a completely different way. Try to put yourself into the other person's shoes and view how you reacted. You might be surprised at how you view yourself! This is the real start of self-awareness.
4) Keep a diary. Start to make simple notes throughout the day on how you are feeling emotionally. Happy, sad, frustrated, worried, fearful. Next to that emotion make a note of WHY you might be feeling that way. e.g. "Today I'm feeling happy because my partner told me he loves me this morning. What a lovely way to wake up" or, "Frustrated this morning. No-one at work listens to my point of view". From this you can start to see how patterns develop. Do your emotions change with the time of day or energy levels? Do they change at certain points of your monthly cycle? What situations elicit the SAME response?
5) Reflect (again!). Going back over your thought diary will start to show you what emotions you tend to feel and what causes those emotions. Once you become aware of these patterns, then you can start to change them or at least accept responsibility, i.e. "I have become aware this is how I react to x and y, and I'm going to make a concerted afford to change this response" or, "I realize this is how I react, I don't wish to change (or I'm unable to), but I accept this is what I'm like and I take full responsibility for my actions".
Once you have developed self-awareness you can start to make changes in your life. For example, "I realize that I worry a lot about finances, so I'm going to talk to my partner about it to see if we can plan and produce a budget, rather than keeping my worries bottled up inside" or, "I get sad when I'm feeling tired, so I'm going to find ways to help improve my energy levels".
Perhaps at this time, you may decide to seek help. Don't be frightened to! Many people find that once they've discovered these patterns, they're not sure what to do to change them, or where to go for help. That's what us therapists are here for! Try some counselling or psychotherapy to talk over your emotions. Get some healing reiki or acupuncture to clear those blockages, strengthen your body and calm your mind. Improve your diet and nutrition by asking a nutritional therapist. Seek a personal trainer to organise a fitness regime that works for you. Whatever steps you need to take, be aware that we are here to help you make them.
By putting these measures into place, you will start to move forward in your life, whereas before you may have previously felt stuck, but were perhaps unaware! Through practicing self-awareness, people have over-come their fears, their frustrations, their worries, their sadness and made big changes in their lives.
Wishing you the very best in health and happiness
Phil
Self-awareness is the ability to view yourself as others would see you, taking note of the repetitive thoughts, patterns, actions and phrases that you use. For some, it's natural. They are more than aware of their own thoughts and actions! But for others, it doesn't come so easy...
Tips to help you develop self-awareness:
1) Mental check! Every time you elicit an emotional response to a stressful situation, make a mental note of that emotion and the factors that may have caused it.
2) Reflect (when calm!). People will respond in different ways to the same situation. For example, if your boss tells you that your standards have slipped at work, you might feel frustrated and get angry, whilst another might feel sad and dejected, and another might feel worried about losing their job. Take time to reflect on the situation and your emotional response, but do this WHEN YOU FEEL CALM AND COLLECTED! Mentally pouring over the situation whilst you're still locked in that emotion will only make it worse. Take yourself out, go and do something to distract yourself and come back to it another time.
3) The other person's point of view. It's all too easy to think we reacted in the best possible way and "of course I was calm!" when in actual fact we may have responded in a completely different way. Try to put yourself into the other person's shoes and view how you reacted. You might be surprised at how you view yourself! This is the real start of self-awareness.
4) Keep a diary. Start to make simple notes throughout the day on how you are feeling emotionally. Happy, sad, frustrated, worried, fearful. Next to that emotion make a note of WHY you might be feeling that way. e.g. "Today I'm feeling happy because my partner told me he loves me this morning. What a lovely way to wake up" or, "Frustrated this morning. No-one at work listens to my point of view". From this you can start to see how patterns develop. Do your emotions change with the time of day or energy levels? Do they change at certain points of your monthly cycle? What situations elicit the SAME response?
5) Reflect (again!). Going back over your thought diary will start to show you what emotions you tend to feel and what causes those emotions. Once you become aware of these patterns, then you can start to change them or at least accept responsibility, i.e. "I have become aware this is how I react to x and y, and I'm going to make a concerted afford to change this response" or, "I realize this is how I react, I don't wish to change (or I'm unable to), but I accept this is what I'm like and I take full responsibility for my actions".
Once you have developed self-awareness you can start to make changes in your life. For example, "I realize that I worry a lot about finances, so I'm going to talk to my partner about it to see if we can plan and produce a budget, rather than keeping my worries bottled up inside" or, "I get sad when I'm feeling tired, so I'm going to find ways to help improve my energy levels".
Perhaps at this time, you may decide to seek help. Don't be frightened to! Many people find that once they've discovered these patterns, they're not sure what to do to change them, or where to go for help. That's what us therapists are here for! Try some counselling or psychotherapy to talk over your emotions. Get some healing reiki or acupuncture to clear those blockages, strengthen your body and calm your mind. Improve your diet and nutrition by asking a nutritional therapist. Seek a personal trainer to organise a fitness regime that works for you. Whatever steps you need to take, be aware that we are here to help you make them.
By putting these measures into place, you will start to move forward in your life, whereas before you may have previously felt stuck, but were perhaps unaware! Through practicing self-awareness, people have over-come their fears, their frustrations, their worries, their sadness and made big changes in their lives.
Wishing you the very best in health and happiness
Phil
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