What is self-awareness? How do you develop self-awareness? How can self-awareness help on a personal level? How can practicing self-awareness help you move forward in your life?
Self-awareness is the ability to view yourself as others would see you, taking note of the repetitive thoughts, patterns, actions and phrases that you use. For some, it's natural. They are more than aware of their own thoughts and actions! But for others, it doesn't come so easy...
Tips to help you develop self-awareness:
1) Mental check! Every time you elicit an emotional response to a stressful situation, make a mental note of that emotion and the factors that may have caused it.
2) Reflect (when calm!). People will respond in different ways to the same situation. For example, if your boss tells you that your standards have slipped at work, you might feel frustrated and get angry, whilst another might feel sad and dejected, and another might feel worried about losing their job. Take time to reflect on the situation and your emotional response, but do this WHEN YOU FEEL CALM AND COLLECTED! Mentally pouring over the situation whilst you're still locked in that emotion will only make it worse. Take yourself out, go and do something to distract yourself and come back to it another time.
3) The other person's point of view. It's all too easy to think we reacted in the best possible way and "of course I was calm!" when in actual fact we may have responded in a completely different way. Try to put yourself into the other person's shoes and view how you reacted. You might be surprised at how you view yourself! This is the real start of self-awareness.
4) Keep a diary. Start to make simple notes throughout the day on how you are feeling emotionally. Happy, sad, frustrated, worried, fearful. Next to that emotion make a note of WHY you might be feeling that way. e.g. "Today I'm feeling happy because my partner told me he loves me this morning. What a lovely way to wake up" or, "Frustrated this morning. No-one at work listens to my point of view". From this you can start to see how patterns develop. Do your emotions change with the time of day or energy levels? Do they change at certain points of your monthly cycle? What situations elicit the SAME response?
5) Reflect (again!). Going back over your thought diary will start to show you what emotions you tend to feel and what causes those emotions. Once you become aware of these patterns, then you can start to change them or at least accept responsibility, i.e. "I have become aware this is how I react to x and y, and I'm going to make a concerted afford to change this response" or, "I realize this is how I react, I don't wish to change (or I'm unable to), but I accept this is what I'm like and I take full responsibility for my actions".
Once you have developed self-awareness you can start to make changes in your life. For example, "I realize that I worry a lot about finances, so I'm going to talk to my partner about it to see if we can plan and produce a budget, rather than keeping my worries bottled up inside" or, "I get sad when I'm feeling tired, so I'm going to find ways to help improve my energy levels".
Perhaps at this time, you may decide to seek help. Don't be frightened to! Many people find that once they've discovered these patterns, they're not sure what to do to change them, or where to go for help. That's what us therapists are here for! Try some counselling or psychotherapy to talk over your emotions. Get some healing reiki or acupuncture to clear those blockages, strengthen your body and calm your mind. Improve your diet and nutrition by asking a nutritional therapist. Seek a personal trainer to organise a fitness regime that works for you. Whatever steps you need to take, be aware that we are here to help you make them.
By putting these measures into place, you will start to move forward in your life, whereas before you may have previously felt stuck, but were perhaps unaware! Through practicing self-awareness, people have over-come their fears, their frustrations, their worries, their sadness and made big changes in their lives.
Wishing you the very best in health and happiness
Phil
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